Tuesday, December 28, 2004
You are really good food and I am full
(ani difranco - you had time)
December 27, 2004
Tsunami – I just learned this word and I already hate it
******
I write because I can. I write because I have to.
My mom and I aren’t in Mount Vernon anymore. We came to New Rochelle where Bobby and Jill live. I like it here, I get along better with my mom (cuz she is less stressed out) and I can eat their food.
On the 25th they had a Christmas lunch and it was lots of fun. There were quite a few people here, many many gifts, the good was great… it was all very nice. On the 26th we went to the movies (meet the fockers – soo funny) and today my mom had her road test (she had to renew her drivers licence) and then we did some shopping (Rio, I bought the life of pi!)
On our way back home mom got mad me. She was “giving me a bronca” because I was being rude to her. She said I don’t talk to her, I don’t touch her, and that I only want what’s convenient for me (like her money – now that’s so not true!! I keep insisting to pay for the things I buy with my money, but she tells me to use our credit card) Whatever. I got really upset.
And I think I am still kind of upset. Or maybe I am just in a quiet mood.
I love Bobby, he is really great. He is very open minded, smart and kind (sometimes even too kind) And I usually think he’d understand if I talked to him about being gay and all… As I’ve mentioned before, he’s got 2 lesbian neighbors and he likes them a love. But sometimes it seems that he thinks of it as something that “only happens with other people.” When it is actually happening right before his eyes.
Knowing that just a few feet down there are two lesbians that I could be talking to just kills me. I need someone to talk to.
On a different key – as much as I am NOT loving these vacations, I don’t want to go back to h. college. Oh no… Just the thought of sitting on my hard cold desk makes me want to scream. The halls, the stairs, the dirty bathroom… Everything makes me feel so lonely. Now that I am here I realize how lonely I was there.
My mom is thinking about buying a car. I asked my dad for one, but he said no. For a while I didn’t think much of it, but now I keep thinking about how cool it would be if I had a car!! I wouldn’t feel so lonely, isolated and desperate. Whenever I feel blue (and have some time to spare) I will be able to go for a drive and just chill.
Oh crap. I am getting that feeling of constant waiting again.
December 27, 2004
Tsunami – I just learned this word and I already hate it
******
I write because I can. I write because I have to.
My mom and I aren’t in Mount Vernon anymore. We came to New Rochelle where Bobby and Jill live. I like it here, I get along better with my mom (cuz she is less stressed out) and I can eat their food.
On the 25th they had a Christmas lunch and it was lots of fun. There were quite a few people here, many many gifts, the good was great… it was all very nice. On the 26th we went to the movies (meet the fockers – soo funny) and today my mom had her road test (she had to renew her drivers licence) and then we did some shopping (Rio, I bought the life of pi!)
On our way back home mom got mad me. She was “giving me a bronca” because I was being rude to her. She said I don’t talk to her, I don’t touch her, and that I only want what’s convenient for me (like her money – now that’s so not true!! I keep insisting to pay for the things I buy with my money, but she tells me to use our credit card) Whatever. I got really upset.
And I think I am still kind of upset. Or maybe I am just in a quiet mood.
I love Bobby, he is really great. He is very open minded, smart and kind (sometimes even too kind) And I usually think he’d understand if I talked to him about being gay and all… As I’ve mentioned before, he’s got 2 lesbian neighbors and he likes them a love. But sometimes it seems that he thinks of it as something that “only happens with other people.” When it is actually happening right before his eyes.
Knowing that just a few feet down there are two lesbians that I could be talking to just kills me. I need someone to talk to.
On a different key – as much as I am NOT loving these vacations, I don’t want to go back to h. college. Oh no… Just the thought of sitting on my hard cold desk makes me want to scream. The halls, the stairs, the dirty bathroom… Everything makes me feel so lonely. Now that I am here I realize how lonely I was there.
My mom is thinking about buying a car. I asked my dad for one, but he said no. For a while I didn’t think much of it, but now I keep thinking about how cool it would be if I had a car!! I wouldn’t feel so lonely, isolated and desperate. Whenever I feel blue (and have some time to spare) I will be able to go for a drive and just chill.
Oh crap. I am getting that feeling of constant waiting again.
Comments:
Yay! You got Life of Pi! I hope it brings up the sombre mood a bit..
Life's full of waiting. I mean, sometimes it seems like all you see before you is a big blue sign saying "WAITING" or "PLEASE WAIT" or "PLEASE WAIT WHILE LOADING" or "KEEP CALM YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER 12 HOURS". I guess that's how life is. Glad to have you on the same highway!
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Life's full of waiting. I mean, sometimes it seems like all you see before you is a big blue sign saying "WAITING" or "PLEASE WAIT" or "PLEASE WAIT WHILE LOADING" or "KEEP CALM YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER 12 HOURS". I guess that's how life is. Glad to have you on the same highway!
